Thoughts at Thanksgiving

This year's thanksgiving is a wake-up call for me.

I have been so caught up in the role of being a mother to a toddler below age of 2 and being pregnant at the same time that I realised I might have too wrapped up in what these roles have done to me. Being obsessive over how I have suffered and how pregnancy limits me from doing this has ebbed away the thankful heart that I used to hold so dear to me.

So yeah. A few mornings ago, I suddenly remembered with a jolt that besides D-day (which I have been whining every day to come quickly), Thanksgiving is drawing very near too.

I am finding it hard to pen down in words what goes through my mind in the last few days. I have always been a perfectionist. Once I devised a way of what I think is the right way of doing things, I tend to stick to it rigorously. Deviation irks me, and if I have to pass on the task to someone else, and I find that the work done has deviated from my standards; it can literally eat me alive. I think this is one of my biggest demons.And this is one of the main factor why I am losing that thankfulness. Having said so, as I mark the occasion and count my blessings, I am preparing myself to surrender to God so that He may help me in defeating this demon. I pray that when I look back again one year later, it will be with a much lighter spirit.