Swinging like a pendulum

My state of mind, that is. It has been swinging from unrest to calmness. I am sure those pregnancy hormones have a part to play in amplifying the effects, even though there are some valid factors that trigger those unsettled feelings in the first place.

At a mighty age of 16 months, Anya seems to have already embark nicely onto the Terrible Twos. She is especially clingy, exhibiting separation anxiety and want The Husband or myself to carry her throughout the whole day. She refuses to eat at most of the meals, even refuses to sit on the highchair. Sometimes, she bites me when I try to hold her together or tell her 'no'. Other times, she will hurt herself by biting her arm, pulling her hair or banging her head against the floor as a form of protest.

It can get stressful.

Yesterday, we went for an assessment in KKH to check for allergic rhinitis (mild to moderate case). My heart sank to know that she lost weight for the first time since after she was born.

After the KKH visit was my regular pre-natal appointment. My usually cool and nonchalant gynae pointed out that I have proteins in my urine persistently since the beginning of this pregnancy despite already undergone a course of antibiotics. He has referred me to a urologist and I am going in to see him next week.

To find rest for my soul, I seek God. Seeing a specialist, to run some tests on me means there will be results. That, in turn, stirs fear. I pray to our Jehovah Rapha, pinning my fears onto the cross. He is our Healer, and I gotta trust in Him. So whenever I feel fear or unrest stirring inside me, I start praying again.

With regards to Anya, we pray too. To seek His wisdom and guidance in parenting her, in pinpointing the problem (if there is any). The Husband and I talk through it last night, to re-frame our expectations and come to a consensus as to how to manage when she acts up. Naturally, I feel better knowing we have a thought-through plan of action.

It is great to know that I am not in this alone. The Husband and I work as a team and our Heavenly Father watches over us and guides us. While it is inevitable that like I will still swing to and fro, every now and then, I just wanna be thankful.