Goodbye 2011

We are counting down to the last hours of 2011. Here I am, having a quiet moment (because it's in the middle of the nightb& I am up expressing milk), flurry of images of events of the year fleeted through my mind - as if I'm watching a slideshow.

Here is a consolidation of my 2011:

Relationship with God

We have not been attending church nor cell for a few months now. That should not affect my relationship with God if I had been conscientiously spending time with Him and seeking Him in my daily walk. The truth is, I have not. So, in all honesty, I find my spiritual growth stagnating. I remember a fellow sister-in-Christ shared with me this statement before: "There is no such thing as stagnant in spiritual growth. The moment you are stagnant; you are in fact backsliding.". Admittedly, she is right. My fundamental beliefs is still the same. But I need a change of heart. I need to feel closer to Him to feel complete as a person again. Staying close to Him will naturally equip me in becoming a better wife and mother. This is the one aspect that I really wish and pray for a breakthrough in 2012.

Having a helper

Well, this is a biggie for me because I need large amount of personal space. That is why I detest taking MRTs during peak hours. It is also the same reason why I haven't been to any clubs (except on my hens' night) nor countdowns in the last decade. To have a stranger in my living space is a gigantic no-no.

BUT. Between retaining sanity and treasuring personal space, the choice is obvious. Still, it takes some adapting to, which I am proud to say I did quite well. I psyched myself to the idea of having someone else in the house weeks before The Helper arrived. In addition, I am relieve that she learned (from the trainings she went through) and understood our need for personal space. Unless necessary, she tries to keep out of our way and not be in the same room as us at any point in time. Plus, so far, she has proven to be a significant help for me. She helps to take care of most of the menial work around the house while I concentrate in caring for the girls and doing all the brain works behind running the household. On top of that, she is generally quite good with Anya making it easier for me when both girls need attention. In retrospect, I am really glad that I took The Husband's suggestion to hire a stay-in help.

An addition to the family

 This has to be one of the happiest thing that happened to me in 2012. It was in our family plan - to try for another child this year. By God's blessing, we got our heart's desire. She came in the form of a chubby baby girl who came just one month before the year ends. One month later, she has become chubbier. Every time I change her and see her rotund belly getting even rounder, it makes my chest swell with pride. Yeah, the pride of a breastfeeding mom. (Oops! Pun wasn't intended.)

Another pregnancy, another trying 9 months 

I was pregnant three quarter of the time this year. Been pregnant is very trying for me. I throw up, and I throw up some more. I get dehydrated and become so weak that I literally crawled to the bath room (to throw up even more). So I had to be admitted to be on drips. It was down on the same road as the first pregnancy! Thankfully, the story after the hospitalization part changed partially. The OBGYN found a drug that was effective in curbing my throwing up. Never mind that the drug was intended for cancer-stricken patients who are undergoing chemotherapy (it is safe for the baby though). Never mind that a month's dosage costs more than $700. It is effective. Yay! I could have thrown a party to celebrate, except that I still has to deal with excessive salivation, heartburns, as well as other common pregnancy symptoms.

Like the first pregnancy, the trying nine months has been a test for me The Husband and I in many ways. He had to be away from work more so he could substitute me at home. He had to push away work trips & meetings just to take care of Anya and I. Seeing me go through all that, it was heart-wrenching for him. I have lost count of the times that he said, "That's it. No more number 3.". For me, it was a test of faith. Second round. I question why God put me through so much in both pregnancies. I cried a lot. It was an outlet for me. I remembered at one pointed, I posted on my Facebook account that I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, even when I clearly knew that it would come to pass after the pregnancy was over. Besides the emotions, there was also the stress of having to deal with the extras that came along with the stork. Caregiving arrangements so I could be on bed rest, preparing for number 2's arrival which included sleep-training Anya in her bed so Arielle could inherit her cot - that went oh-so-wrong.

Trying as it could be - being pregnant, I am relieve to say that we passed the tests. Plus we get a beautiful healthy baby at the end of it. :)

Relationships: Win some; lose some

Okay, 'lose' is an exaggeration. But. Admittedly, social life has taken a back seat since we embarked on parenthood. We can no longer socialize at the frequency that we were used to before parenthood. Meeting up are reserved for a handful of close friends who has helped me to hold onto my sanity (Thanks y'all, you know who you are). Or I will try to make it for bigger group gatherings where I get to meet up with a few friends at one meeting. Yeah, economies of scale. So naturally, I have drifted apart from some.

As for the winning relationships, other than the handful of close friends, are kinship. My mom, parents-in-law, sister-in-law, The Husband. In short, those who saw us through this trying time. Through kind and affirming words and through acts of service, they touched our hearts. And our relationships with them nurtured.

Enjoying Anya

Anya in January

Anya in December

The year saw Anya from a chubby crawling baby to an active running little girl. These days, she is capable of her own her thoughts and expressing them outright to us. No doubt, there are times when she disagrees with us, act defiantly, throw tantrums - all in all, giving us headaches. But hey! That is part of parenthood, deal  isn't it? Loving our child even when she may exhibit unlovable behaviours occasionally. Other times which constitute a large part of the entire year, I enjoy her even more. Her sweetness, her thoughtfulness, her joyfulness, her cheeky side, her laughter, and basically, the essence of her. It has been quite an experience, seeing my own child growing and getting to know her personality.

In conclusion, it has been a year that we go through yet another season of change. While there were trying times, all in all, we reaped fruitful harvests. More importantly, we are intact as a happy loving family.Come 2012, I pray that we will settle well into a family of five, bonding even closer with the ones who matter, become healthier (and in the course of it, slimmer for me), grow in the spirit while continuing to play our roles well. Here's wishing you a blessed 2012!

Silly mommy

In case you think I have disappeared. Nope, I haven't.

In fact, I have a few half-written entries saved in as drafts that cannot be published simply because, well, they were half-written. And the reason why they were half-written were because my time are no longer mine with two little girls under my care who disrupt my line of thoughts by taking turns to wake up prematurely from their naps, demanding my attention when it is rightfully a time for me to have some peace and quiet.

Why a few half-written entries and not complete one entry before moving onto another? You'd ask.Well, the moment has passed, and the first entry simply do not seem relevant anymore the next time I sit in front of the laptop. Therefore, I have decided to go for shorter entries. More manageable, more achievable.

This one, is entitled 'Silly Mommy' because it depicts one of the many silly things that I've done.

Remember after that thigh-wedged-in-cot saga, we installed a surveillance camera in Anya's room to monitor on her movements during her nap? Well, I just put down for her nap 20 minutes ago. When I came back to my room, switched on my laptop and opened the webpage to check if she is asleep, here's what I see... ...

Earlier on, I was playing with Anya in her room. I was the one who had unwittingly placed the balloon in that strategic position. Duh.

Now, judging that there is no more movement in the cot (i think), I can only assume that she is asleep.

All hail the burping king!

Since the confinement nanny left, my little household has been obsessing over burping the baby. 

It seems that Arielle is a difficult baby to burp. Either that or we are rusty in expeling gas out of babies. Now, when I say we are rusty, the 'we' really refers only to my mom and myself. The Husband, on the other way, has no problem whatsoever in making Arielle belch.

Actually, my mom and I think that the strength of his pats are a little bit too strong for a teeny baby. When we voiced it out, The Husband cheekily retorts, "You all are just sore losers.". Duh.

As a result of my mom and my failure in burping, some of the feeding sessions have evolved into a game of "Pass the baby". Here's how it goes: After the baby finishes the bottle, my mom will burp her for a good ten minutes. When no gas comes out, I will take over for another five minutes or so. Still, nothing comes out of the baby, except for cries of protest that she is all gassy and uncomfortable.Then Burping King takes over. Once he sits her onto his lap, she goes all calm and quiet while he does his thing. Before long, we hear a resounding belch where Arielle will then settle peacefully back to sleep. 

Right now, I am adopting Burping King's seemingly-cruel-but-is-really-effective way of patting. Hard. More strength. So far, I have not been consistent in successfully burping the little one but interestingly, I did manage to expel some gas out for myself everytime we're at it. *belch!*

What has the big sister been up to?

... Having regular high tea sessions with her friends...

... Still very interested in our family photo album...

... Having a ball of a time...

... Testing out her baby sister's furniture...

... Channeling the hip hop junkie in her...

 

... Being a 'mommy' herself...

... Regressing to being a baby by imitating her little sister's behaviour...

... Last but not least, giving away loads of kisses and hugs to her baby sister. (I just realised I already have dozens of pictures taken of her kissing and cuddling Arielle.) :)

Exhausted.

Tired. Weary. Fatigue. Sleep-deprived. 

They all describe the state that I am in. And The Husband too. 

Everyday, by the time after we finish our dinner, I feel like we are running on back-up battery. Or in the world of iPhones, we would be running on the last 20% of our batteries where the battery icon the phone turns red. 

On some worse off days, like today, I am already on my last 20% by 5ish in the evening. After dinner, I am left with my final 10%. Right now, I can easily nod off if I get a minute of solitude. Yet, I am not going to bed. Gonna wait up to do a last round of milk expressing at 11:45pm before I call it a night. Then, my new day starts three hours later at 2:45am. 

So yeah, we are really exhausted. Pooped. Tired out. But it is good. This is a happy kind of exhaustion. A willing kind of sleep deprivation. A blissful kind of tiredness. A counting-my-blessings kind of weariness. A contented kind of fatigue.

All because of this thing called love. Praise God.

Midway to completing confinement

Two weeks old!

Today marks the end of two weeks of confinement. Another week more with the confinement nanny then my mom will take over for the last leg.

So how are we all holding up?

This time round, I am more lax with myself on the confinement rules. I bathe everyday using the herbal water that the nanny boils (I like the smell of it actually), shampooing my hair at every alternative days. I go out for walks in the neighbourhood estate. Last week, after our visit to the paed, The Husband even stopped by at Great World City so I could sneaked in a wee bit of retail therapy. At the main mealtimes, I eat whatever that the confinement nanny serve up to me. However, on top of that, I snack pretty much anything that I can lay my hands on around the house - fruits, seaweeds, cakes, biscuits of all sorts. By the way, I have a voracious appetite since D-day. I get hungry pangs every two hours! I blame it on all the breastfeeding I have been doing.

Speaking of which, learning from my last breastfeeding experience that was not so successful, I was determined to give my best shot this time round. In the first ten days, I have been nursing her every two to two and a half hours in the day and two and a half to three hours at night. Even at this frequency, it is apparent that the little one is not getting enough from me. I have changed strategy since as she is getting too comfortable at the breast, falling asleep and not waking up. 

Getting too comfy in Mommy's arms.

As a result, each supposed half-hour feed has stretched to one hour. Taking in the time taken for me to bond with Anya, eat, bathe and use the bathroom, I really do not have much left for sleep and rest. Now that my milk production has been established (50mls per pump which is not much), I decided to use the breast pump instead, making life easier for me. By doing so, we are also eliminating the possibility that Arielle could be snacking instead taking in proper feeds at each nursing session. Thankfully, Arielle is taking her milk better from the bottle, enabling her to have a full feed at every session.

Contented after a full feed.

Sleep-wise? Well, let's just say that sleep is the one thing that every one in our flat is deprived of. The Husband, being the ever hands-on father and supportive husband that he is, wakes up most of the times to check on us when I am up nursing / expressing milk or when baby's cries is prolonged. Anya, who is still joining us in our bed in the wee hours almost every night gets awaken by all the activities going on the room now and then. At 4am this morning, she startled me by suddenly sitting up while staring at me while I was expressing milk. The Helper is not spared either since the confinement nanny is sharing her room and would switch on the lights whenever she has to change or feed Arielle. Even The Furkid who sleeps in the kitchen gets disruptions too since we need to access the kitchen for milk storage and heating up milk.

"Sshhshhh... My baby sister is sleeping.."

Despite all the fatigue and madness going on,  we had our fair share of goodness too. The Husband and I are getting to know our little baby girl better, making it easier to care for her. Anya seems to have gotten used to the idea of having a baby in the house. While there were a a handful occasions that she got upset with us for not not get her desired attention from us, we are relieved that she remains loving towards her little sister so far. In fact, she has been taking her own initiative to give her baby sister goodnight / goodbye kisses whenever bedtime comes or when she is heading over to The In-laws' place.

Hugs... ...

... ... and kisses.

No doubt there has been occasional snappy exchanges but The Husband and I are well aware that fatigue is the reason why we are growing horns on our heads. All in all, I think we are doing okay. Between the both of us, we are putting our minds and efforts together  to establish Arielle's routine as well as to work out the kinks so that the kids' schedules complement each other. Hopefully, most of the kinks can be ironed out before our extra hands (in the form of confinement nanny and my mom) leaves us.

Jaundice

Over the weekend, we rented a photo-therapy lamp for Arielle's jaundice. The paediatrician's  order was 20 hours of therapy per day. He, however, warned that she would likely to cry her lungs out once we undress her. 

In the end, we only managed 8-9 hours per day. He was right, she cried. Then I joined in the crying too. I know, I am a softie.We came up with ways to soothe her - patting her, putting our palms over her chest and back till she calmed down, giving her a dummy, and finally, letting her lie on her belly such that the light is on her back instead. The last method, which was what we decided to adopt, has to be done under supervision where one of us - the confinement nanny, The Husband or myself will sit beside her.

The reason for putting her on her belly other than the reason that it soothes her? This way, she will not be looking at the lights, therefore do not have to wear that poorly designed eye mask that kept slipping off, blocking her nose and causing her to cry again. Between The Husband and I, we must have summoned up all sorts of bad words in our minds at least a dozen times each in the last three days, all because of that darn eye mask.

This morning, we went back to the paediatrician's office for a blood test. The result came back at a score of 15. The paed's instruction was to admit her to the hospital if the score is 16 and above. As we heaved a sigh of relief, we knew that we had to double our efforts. 

While jaundice is common among Asian babies and are treatable - usually cleared up by 1-2 months old, the process to recovery is a huge hassle. In the midst of managing the newness of caring for a baby which is a biggie by itself, jaundice comes along and brings along its obstacles in the form of sleepiness (which makes establishing breast milk production even more daunting!), many trips to the clinic for blood tests and assessments,  the aforementioned phototherapy treatment, and God forbids - admission of baby into the hospital. 

By doubling our efforts, hopefully Friday's blood test will reap a more favourable result.

Introducing Arielle...

Hello world, I am Arielle! It means Lioness of God. *ROARS*

... The newest addition to our family who will be the second main cast to this blog. She arrived on Monday morning. Thankfully, just like her big sister, it was another speedy delivery that required a short ten minutes of pushing and out she came. There are so many things that I am thankful about pertaining this delivery, especially the recovery part. Other than being terribly sleep-deprived (the downside of having overnight induction), both baby and mommy are given a clean bill of health and were given the green light to go home the following day. 

"This is my time of birth."

 

"That's me and my momma."

"My vital stats of birth.."

"Here's my first meeting with my big sister and receiving a cuddle from her."

Both Anya and The Furkid have taken to Arielle very well. The Furkid was friendly and affectionate right from the moment baby and I stepped home. This was a stark contrast to her one-week cold treatment to me when I came home with Anya. The big sister has been affectionate too. After a few days, she has somewhat registered that the 'Arielle'  in Mommy's belly is this baby Arielle, and has been cuddling her a lot. She, however, seems to miss me a lot - keeps asking for me and calling out for me. Well, the feeling is mutual. Am gonna spend some alone time with her tomorrow. 

"My big sister watching over me as I nap."

"My Fursister kissing me as I napped."

Right now, The Husband and I have finally sobered up slightly after some quality sleep last night, even though quality sleep really meant waking up twice to nurse, and another two more times to attend to Anya. The first night home was proven overwhelming for all of us with both of us totally knacked while the excited big sister, refused to sleep. As for baby Arielle, she has been doing her job just fine - latching on well, pooping after almost every feed and sleeping without much fuss. Prayerfully, she will not be as jaundiced as her big sister (we'll get to know tomorrow at the paed's office) so she can continue to feed well, allowing me to establish milk production. 

Alright, will write more about what I am thankful for this delivery when I am more up to it. Meanwhile, gonna catch another power nap before our new little star wakes up.

"So long, folks. Bub-bye!"

Just before Mini Bun arrives... ...

It has been decided. We are going in tonight, just before midnight, for induction. If everything goes as planned, Mini Bun will arrive on 28 November, Monday - two days shy of being 40 weeks old in my womb.

This will mean that both my labours were induced. For Anya's case, she was 40 weeks and 1 days old when I had show and contractions throughout the night. But when I was admitted, the midwives found that my contractions were irregular, thus calling for induction. For Mini Bun's case, it is simply because I am not against the idea since I have done it before. The baby is already at a good size, and based on yesterday's check, I am 1cm dilated - very suitable for induction, according to my OBGYN.

In the past few days, we managed to clear some of the items off my errand list. As we had expected Mini bun to arrive earlier (given that she was growing at an alarming rate during 35-38 weeks), I had thought that these errands could only be run by The Husband on his own during my confinement, or after my confinement. So it was pleasantly fulfilling for me to check off some of these items, even though I was inviting occasional alarmed stares when we were outside because I had to stop in stride every now and then for the Braxton-Hicks to ease off. Here was what we did:

1. Buying a Christmas tree.

Last year, we had to forgo having a real tree (instead, we had our own improvisation of a Christmas tree on the wall!) as The Husband felt that it would be too much hassle trying to keep a crawling baby out of the tree's way. This year, we believe that Anya is old enough to appreciate having it. Morever, I will be confined at home for a month, so it will be really nice to bring some festive cheer into the house.

To ensure that it would be a fruitful trip, I called up Ikea in the afternoon to check that they still have stock for their 1.6m trees. Mind you, at $45, I believe theirs are one of the cheapest ones on the island and were usually gone very quickly. We knew because we made a wasted trip there two years ago. The lady staff who answer my phone call replied: "If you come down by tonight, I am sure both Alexandra and Tampines will have stock. I can't guarantee for tomorrow though.". And it was only the second day of sale for their Christmas trees! Hot stuff, really!

Together with the tree, we picked up an easel for Anya. This is an early Christmas present for her. Even before Anya was born, I already wanted an easel for her. I thought it will be nice to have a whiteboard cum chalkboard cum easel for papers where she will be encouraged to draw and to make learning fun for her. I know I will love to have it as a little girl! Both The Husband and I were glad we made the purchase! So far, we are having loads of family fun drawing things that she already knows and asking her to guess what it is. More importantly, we can tell that she is having fun with it too. I daresay as much fun as the frightfully addictive iPad as I have successfully tried taking the iPad away from her by substituting with the easel. Minimal fuss from her!

2. Decorating the Christmas tree

Well, the actual process of doing up the tree was not quite what I envisioned it to be. To begin with, my mental picture had some special soft focus effects that made me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. And then there we were, The Husband and I doing up the tree while our little girl helps to pass us the ornaments from the box. The Furkid will lie down in the near distance, watching us, as we 'oooh' and aaaah' at our work-in-progress. At the end of it, The Husband will carry up Anya, as she hang the finishing such of the glittery star on the top of the tree.

The reality? It was pretty much me who did up the tree. The Husband was away at work as he tries to finish up as many appointments as he could before the baby comes along. As for Anya. Well, instead of being Mommy's little helper, she was, well, Mommy's little terror. First she emptied most of the ornaments from their boxes, causing some much noise and racket. Then she caused The Furkid to go ballistic by playing catch with her using those hard ornament balls. Lastly, she discovered the fun of playing with those gold and silver beads and I had to get The Helper to get a close eye on her lest she strangulate herself in the process of dolling herself up as another Christmas tree. By the time I was done with the real tree, there was one casualty in the form of a broken ornament ball that also smell of dog drool, and glitters, ribbons, beads and pine needles spilled all over the living room's floor and sofa.

3. Bringing Anya to the hair salon

 

As it happened, The Husband was due for a haircut as well. So we trooped off to one of those $10 haircut salons yesterday. The iPad helped to captivate Anya's attention while the hairstylist got down to work. In twenty minutes, our toddler emerged from the salon fresh-looking with a bob and The Husband, in his usual clean-cut hair.

4. Last minute prep work with Anya

For months now, we watch real-life accounts of women having babies and families welcoming newborns on Discovery Home and Health. She gets to touch and hold a handful of newborns now as coincidentally, The SIL and some of our close friends just gave birth in the last few months. We refrained ourselves from addressing her 'baby', instead promoting her to being a 'little girl'. And then there were books on welcoming a new baby sibling that we borrowed from the library as well as going through her own baby pictures to understand how far she has grown.

For last leg of prep work, we go through yet another library book that portray welcoming a new sibling. At a particular page of a picture of a mother with her little girl and a newborn in her arms, we tell her this is Mommy, Anya and Arielle. On her new easel, I drew a family of stick figures to reiterate our point. "Daddy, Mommy, Anya, Muffin and Arielle!", we tell her enthusiastically. She gives her all the appropriate responses that we hope for, making us think that she really understand what is to come. However, as to the real extent of her comprehension and receptiveness of the matter, well.. I suppose our guess is as good as anyone's. In any case, we'll take things in our stride when it comes.

5. Savouring the last moments of having an only child (& dog).

Chalking in some last bit of quality as a family of four, we play catch with the dog, we read,  we look at the stickers, we play with her toys, we draw, we go through the photo albums, stack the building blocks, then repeat the whole cycle again. In between all these activities, there has being a great deal of cuddling and kissing going on as well. And all these times, I am trying hard to lock in these moments in my memory bank. After all, what is coming up will be another irreversible change.

Today, we are taking things easy. In between last minute packing and prepping the house for the arrival of the baby, I try to catch some power naps to make up for what is to come. 

Please keep us in prayers and wish us luck. See you in this space after we up-size into a family of five. :)

Thoughts at Thanksgiving

This year's thanksgiving is a wake-up call for me.

I have been so caught up in the role of being a mother to a toddler below age of 2 and being pregnant at the same time that I realised I might have too wrapped up in what these roles have done to me. Being obsessive over how I have suffered and how pregnancy limits me from doing this has ebbed away the thankful heart that I used to hold so dear to me.

So yeah. A few mornings ago, I suddenly remembered with a jolt that besides D-day (which I have been whining every day to come quickly), Thanksgiving is drawing very near too.

I am finding it hard to pen down in words what goes through my mind in the last few days. I have always been a perfectionist. Once I devised a way of what I think is the right way of doing things, I tend to stick to it rigorously. Deviation irks me, and if I have to pass on the task to someone else, and I find that the work done has deviated from my standards; it can literally eat me alive. I think this is one of my biggest demons.And this is one of the main factor why I am losing that thankfulness. Having said so, as I mark the occasion and count my blessings, I am preparing myself to surrender to God so that He may help me in defeating this demon. I pray that when I look back again one year later, it will be with a much lighter spirit.

Reminiscing 19 months of Anya

I finally sorted through all the soft copies of pictures that we have of Anya!

The last time I did this, Anya was 4-5 months old, and already, it took me a few sittings in front of the laptop to consolidate the pictures from various sources (camera, iPhone, and friends' uploaded), then catergorise them accordingly to months.

Really, someone gotta give me the credit for the discipline to finish up this project even though I, erm..., started doing this project since September? Actually.. forget about giving me the credit. As it is, I am already pleased as punch that I have done it. Not only do I have all her photos nicely catergorised from 0 - 19 months chronologically sitting in my back-up hard-disk now, I have also selected a handful - okay, close to a hundred, to be precise - to be developed and add to our family album. Among them were also selected few family pictures that we send over to The Grandparents for keepsakes.

Here's a few of them for your viewing pleasure:

This is really timely, I thought. Just before Mini Bun arrives. The act of doing up the family album feels like marking the end of a chapter, as we continue a new chapter with no. 2's arrival. Not only that. I also get to relive Anya's birth and her growth, and savour the last bit of having only her (other than Muff) around. The Husband and I had lots of laughs and exchanges of "Do you remember what happened when this picture was taken..??" as we went through the hard copies after we picked them up from the developing shop yesterday. As I am typing this now, I am feeling all fuzzy-sappy with my eyes watering a bit.

19 months! Our firstborn has grown so much in 19 months! From that pimply-faced little bundle with her infamous thunder thighs, she has blossomed into a slim, fair-complexioned, ponytail-wearing little girl! With her own unique character and traits to boot. And in a matter of days, she will be joined by another sibling! While it was not purposefully planned to coincide with the birth of Mini Bun - the timing of this picture-sorting business, I mean - the timeliness has actually helped to managed my mental readiness to welcome our second child.

With that, I like to end off with a note for Anya:

Honey, 

With the arrival of baby sister, there is going to be some madness around the house. Some things may be beyond your comprehension, and you may feel a bit lost. But Daddy and Mommy are always around. By God's grace, love will always multiply. With Arielle's arrival, there will be one more person that we get to love, love us in return, and through that, experience even more of God's love for us. You know how God especially loves each and every one of us because we are created by Him as unique individuals? Well, Daddy and Mommy especially loves you too! So, even after Arielle comes, we are certain we will always especially love you, just the way you are. Sames goes for our love for Arielle too.

It is Daddy's and Mommy's hearts' desire to have at least two children. And by God's blessing, this is going to come true very quickly. We think that by giving you a sibling (likewise for Arielle) is one of the greatest gift that we, as parents, can have for you. So, do enjoy your sister. Even the downside having one - such as fights and squabbles in time to come.

We are looking forward to watching you through the growing years! 

In God's love, 

Mommy & Daddy

At 38 weeks

Everyday, I am psyched to go into labour. I have never been good at waiting games. I have been constantly looking out for any slightest sign of labour.

Is my Braxton-Hicks more painful than usual? Is it more regular?


When I go to the bathroom, I am always checking for bloody show. 


Do I feel like Mini Bun is engaged? 


Is the lower back pain intensifying? 

As you can see, I am all geared.

I pulled one of my back muscle a few days ago. As a result, I have been in pain. I could not carry Anya for more than 3 seconds. I could not arch my back over the high chair to feed her. Even the act of rinsing my mouth over the sink when brushing my teeth causes pain shooting up my back. As a result, I have been in resting in bed in the afternoons - which I am grateful for, since I have not been sleeping well at night (due to the numerous trips to the loo and the discomfort of my humongous belly).

And also, quite frankly, I cannot wait to meet our second little girl! So my dear Mini Bun, if your body is all well-developed already, do make your way out quickly okay? Looking forward to hold you in my arms!

The "No" stage

Yes, Anya has arrived at the "no" stage.It appears to suddenly dawn on her that routines are meant to be disrupted, rules broken and boundaries tested.

"Bath after drinking juice?" - No.
"Bring your cup to auntie to wash." - No.
"Say grace." - No.
"Keep your megabloks." - No.
"Time's up for using iPad." - NO!

Mind you, I noticed that the recent "Nos" have been perfected with a growling tone to it,as she looks straight into my eyes with a taunting glint shining from hers. Bah..! Where did she learn all these?

Coupled with this particular favorite word of the moment, she has further upped her boundaries-testing skills by requesting for all the things that she likes repeatedly. For example, she always knew that vitamin gummy is given only before bedtime at night and would only ask for it after she is changed into her pajamas. These days, she would start asking for it even before she has changed out of her pajamas to start the day.

It is as if our lovely angelic toddler has skipped her childhood and accelerated straight to the rebellious teenage stage overnight.

In response, The Husband and I have gone through rounds of strategising and brainstorming. Now, we are fully geared for battle with armour and what-nots. Keywords and key phrases of our battle plan are such as 'be firm', 'consistency', 'be firm', 'keep temper in check', 'be firm', 'try not to tear out what little hair that we already have', 'be firm', 'next better player please'.

Just an hour ago, I was out in the battlefield getting her to bring her cup to The Helper after she finished her juice and then go for her bath. Unfortunately, The Husband is away at work, so the backup plan of 'next better player please' was not an option for me. So, I had to suck it in, BE FIRM and repeatedly ask her to do what is expected, rationalising to her why good behaviour is needed along the way.

At some point, when I sensed that she was not going to budge from her couch, I told her that I would have to yank her out of her seat. Sure, I did. Together with the cup. By then, The Helper had disappeared into the kitchen, very harassed by all the crying. Had not being the fact that she (The Helper) had a role to play here of collecting the cup, I am pretty certain she would gladly disappear into the safety haven in the form of a dark and stuffy storeroom and shut the door behind her.

This time round, I even exerted self-control by holding back as she sobbed piteously and ran towards me, begging for hugs. Instead, I held her hand, led her back to the cup, and tell her "No. You got to bring the cup to auntie and go 'pompom'".  After a couple of times of her begging me to hug her and me leading her back to the cup again, she finally relented and did what was told. Then, I reiterated to her the importance of good behavior and obeying parents, then finally hugged her while praising her for the good job.

Phew..! Yes, Ms. Tan (my dear secondary form teacher), you were right about having to be cruel in order to be kind. This is going to be my new parenting motto.

On a lighter note, here's some random terrible iPhone quality pictures, some of which showing what Anya-zilla does best - destroying our building block works. In our defence, we have purchase another set of megabloks and built an enclosure around her to ground her.

'yum seng-ing' at a wedding banquet

Only Eeyore, Muff & Daddy are allowed access into Anyazilla's enclosure.