Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Thankful Tuesday: Feeling overwhelmed

I am feeling the blues. It has got to do with the challenges of taking care of the girls.

Anya has taken to smack her baby sister. It is another season of testing boundaries, it seems. On top of that, she is now more conscious of the fact that Mommy is spending more time feeding Arielle and this factor seems to contribute to her misbehavior at times.

Arielle, on the other hand, is having a hard time finishing her milk. More often than not, feeding time equates crying time where she refuses to drink her milk after she finishes any amount from 50ml to 100ml. Just this morning, she actually reject the bottle after drinking a mere 10ml. It was after close to one hour of alternating between pacifying her when she cried and waking her up when she fell asleep that she took in another 60ml.

During times such as this morning, I find myself so overwhelmed that I had trouble breathing. Having a crying baby in my arms who refused to drink while another child looked at me forlornly, yearning for my attention is a little too much for me to bear. For the rest of the afternoon (even after Anya went over to The In-laws), I went about my business around the house with a heavy heart. The Husband and I had prearranged this evening as date night but I almost cancelled it as I was not in the mood. Thankfully, I did not. As it turned out, a quiet peaceful dinner where the environment was conducive for us to talk at length was what I needed.

Considering all that has happened, this week's thanksgiving post is about changing perspectives and the little things. Here's what I am thankful for this week:

# Little pockets of time during milk pumps and before bedtimes where I could get away from all the madness of being a mom by losing myself in humorous and witty chick-lits.

# Restful sleeps at night. I used to have trouble falling asleep and was also a light sleeper who wakes up at the slightest sounds. These days, perhaps due to tiredness, I no longer have trouble drifting to lala-land and usually sleeps like a baby till my body clock wakes me up for milk pumps. In fact, on some nights, I barely read through one page of my novel before I dozed off.

# Time-outs. Both for Anya and myself.

# Wet sloppy kisses, hugs from little bodies and smiles on cherubic faces that are really the perks being a parent. Oh, and funny conversations with little girls that often makes me crack up.

# Date night at Fosters. The service impeccable, the food yummilicious with minimal MSG (I was only a teeny bit unnaturally thirsty after dinner), ambience cosy with English countryside feel to it, and most importantly, an uplifting conversation that untangled the knots in my heart.

# The Husband for being ever so supportive and concerned. Besides being my hands-on partner in parenting our children, he is also my best friend, my confidante.

# Knowing that God is in control. Amen.


MamaJ said...

Oh no! I think I can empathize. Some days I feel bad because I just can't wait for nap time to come, so that I can escape a lil from all that craziness. Junior J also does smack baby so we've had to watch out when the two are together. Guess its a season of leaning on God too... You hang in there and I'll keep you in prayer ok? Maybe next time we can meet up for tea to chat... meanwhile take care!

Ruth said...

Hopped over from Jus's blog, nice to meet another SAHM. Guess we mothers get all the emotional roller coasters quite often enough but hang in there, we are not alone. It's great that you went on a date with your hubby, it's important to keep the marriage strong and we do need the time away from kids :)