Thankful Tuesday: Feeling overwhelmed

I am feeling the blues. It has got to do with the challenges of taking care of the girls.

Anya has taken to smack her baby sister. It is another season of testing boundaries, it seems. On top of that, she is now more conscious of the fact that Mommy is spending more time feeding Arielle and this factor seems to contribute to her misbehavior at times.

Arielle, on the other hand, is having a hard time finishing her milk. More often than not, feeding time equates crying time where she refuses to drink her milk after she finishes any amount from 50ml to 100ml. Just this morning, she actually reject the bottle after drinking a mere 10ml. It was after close to one hour of alternating between pacifying her when she cried and waking her up when she fell asleep that she took in another 60ml.

During times such as this morning, I find myself so overwhelmed that I had trouble breathing. Having a crying baby in my arms who refused to drink while another child looked at me forlornly, yearning for my attention is a little too much for me to bear. For the rest of the afternoon (even after Anya went over to The In-laws), I went about my business around the house with a heavy heart. The Husband and I had prearranged this evening as date night but I almost cancelled it as I was not in the mood. Thankfully, I did not. As it turned out, a quiet peaceful dinner where the environment was conducive for us to talk at length was what I needed.

Considering all that has happened, this week's thanksgiving post is about changing perspectives and the little things. Here's what I am thankful for this week:

# Little pockets of time during milk pumps and before bedtimes where I could get away from all the madness of being a mom by losing myself in humorous and witty chick-lits.

# Restful sleeps at night. I used to have trouble falling asleep and was also a light sleeper who wakes up at the slightest sounds. These days, perhaps due to tiredness, I no longer have trouble drifting to lala-land and usually sleeps like a baby till my body clock wakes me up for milk pumps. In fact, on some nights, I barely read through one page of my novel before I dozed off.

# Time-outs. Both for Anya and myself.

# Wet sloppy kisses, hugs from little bodies and smiles on cherubic faces that are really the perks being a parent. Oh, and funny conversations with little girls that often makes me crack up.

# Date night at Fosters. The service impeccable, the food yummilicious with minimal MSG (I was only a teeny bit unnaturally thirsty after dinner), ambience cosy with English countryside feel to it, and most importantly, an uplifting conversation that untangled the knots in my heart.

# The Husband for being ever so supportive and concerned. Besides being my hands-on partner in parenting our children, he is also my best friend, my confidante.

# Knowing that God is in control. Amen.

Big sister's love

One item by one item, Anya brings to her baby sister.

From the items she fetch and her narration as she did so, apparently Arielle is cold (thus two blankets), has the same affection for a certain donkey (thus TWO Eeyores), wants to take a nap (thus her smelly hanky) and is bored (thus the caterpillar book).

I had to stop Anya from fetching anymore stuff lest the little one gets drowned literally in her big sister's love.

Thankful Tuesday: Amidst celebrations

This week was pretty much about Lunar New Year. Gearing the children up, the preparations, the reunion dinners, the visiting and feasting. Well, I think I got a little bit too carried away basking in the festive mood that I clear forgotten that yesterday is Tuesday. This explains the lateness if this post.

Here's what I am thankful for in the past week:

# The children's recovery just in time for Lunar New Year. I was quite relieve as I dread having to lug two little grouchy & lethargic girls around for visiting. Plus, I hate to think that they are going around potentially spreading the bug to everyone else.

Fully recovered!

# Less fuss from Arielle during feeding times. While each feed may still stretch till up to an hour at times due to sleepiness, at least there are much lesser struggles & cryings in the last two days. As such, she is also drinking more, easing my worries that she is drinking way much lesser than what she should be. Prayerfully, this marks the end of the colic days.

# The Husband for playing house-husband for a day during the weekend while I headed downtown for a long brunch with girlfriends and a spot of shopping.

# Today's technology (Facetime and whatsapp) that allow us to send our greetings and love to friends who are working overseas at no cost.

# Cooperation from the little one during reunion dinners where she slept most part of the time allowing us to have our meals in peace.

# Cooperation from the slightly bigger than the little one as she sat on her high chair throughout both dinners (with two respective sets of grandparents and siblings), munching on whatever of her favourites that we could find from the dishes, and even striking a few funny 'conversations' with her uncles and aunts, sending everyone at the table into laughter.

# Lovingly prepared meals by loved ones and relatives where some dishes were specially prepared with our little ones in mind.

# Journey mercies from a trouble-free car during LNY visiting. Last year, on the morning of the first day of LNY, we got to the car in festive spirits all geared to kickstart visiting only to be greeted by a burst tyre. As a result, we have learned not to take a functional car for granted.

While visiting this year had its share of challenges as we had to take into consideration the girls' milk feeds and naptimes, as well as my milk expressing sessions (we had to bring loads of stuff!), it was still memorable. Many relatives got to see Arielle for the first time and it brings us joy and pride seeing how delighted our uncles, aunts and cousins to meet the new addition. This alone, is worth all the trouble we went through in order to visit them. Hope you had a wonderful time during the past two days too. :)

Greetings!

Hello everyone!

Today is the last day of the Rabbit year. Are you having your reunion dinner tonight? Well, we had one last night with one set of grandparents. It will be with the other set tonight.

Here's wishing you a blessed Lunar New Year! Happy feasting! :)

Microscopic haematuria

So, today I went back for a post-pregnancy conclusive follow-up with the renal specialist. The verdict is I have microscopic haematuria. In layman's explanation, it means small traces of blood is found in my urine. I also have a more than normal amount of protein in my urine but is negligible.

Basically, life will still go on as per normal. No medication is required. For long-term benefit, I just need to watch the amount of red meat intake, which is really no problem for me since the only red meat that I take is pork and even that is minimal. Essentially, I just need to lead a healthy lifestyle and watch my weight.

Other than that, I will go back to see him every six months. I quote the physician, "we will have a long term relationship.".

Oh, one note to self though: I need to drink more water. So far, I did a few 24-hour urine tests that required me to send in my urine collected over the course of one whole day. The doctor pointed out that the quantity is on the low side. So yeah, drink more fluid.

In my own conclusion, I am glad that we have a verdict. Though I am not given an clean bill of health, all things considered, it is still good news. Moving on, I know that I no longer take my health for granted. I am more conscious of what I put into my mouth these days, knowing that there are long term implications to unhealthy diet.

Interestingly, the moment that consciousness kicks in, I become more aware of how my body feels towards various types of food. For example, deep fried meats makes me feel icky and gives me slight waves of nausea while greens makes me feel light & less prone to lethargy.

Next up, I think it is about time that I kick start some form of exercise regime. Hmmm.. Any one out there who wanna be my workout buddy or pacer?

Breakfast time

Peanut butter with bread, anyone?

Child labour

Anyone fancy some extra help for your Lunar New Year spring-cleaning? We have one little over-zealous worker up for hire.:)

Thankful Tuesday

Inspired by MamaJ, Tuesdays shall now be the day for me to write about the things I am thankful for in the past week.

Now, the past one week odd has been rather awful. First of all, there was the terrible food poisoning incident. Then I was all stressed up and having milk woes while holding the fort on my own as The Husband was away for an overnight retreat. Next, The Helper had gastric and Anya developed hives which brought us back to the family doctor's clinic again. When the week neared the end, we thought things should be picking up. Unfortunately, Anya caught a cold (must be due to all the sleeping in an air-conditioned room to ensure that her body was cooled so that the hives would not flare up.) which resulted in runny and congested nose as well as a low grade fever. Then, on Sunday night, as her fever finally cleared, she had a sudden bout of redness around her anus and vaginal area which brought about a whole lot of tears. And Arielle has just caught the bug from Anya while now, I am plagued with constipation (probably the result of those anti-diarrhea medicine).

A tearful week

All of the above on top of having to feed a fussy baby every three hours where more often than not, she took an hour to finish 120ml of milk (we are suspecting colic as the culprit), preparing for the coming Chinese New Year and other daily chores around the house.

After an hour-long feed.

Sigh... Some week we had!

However, be it good times or bad times, the bible says, "..give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.". So, here I am, coming up with a list of things that I am thankful for/about this week.

# Arielle's developmental milestone as she begins to 'coo', 'ah' and even smile in response when we talk to her.

#Another of Arielle's developmental milestone where she is sleeping from 11pm all the way till 7ish in the morning (with some help in the form of patting and recovering her pacifier, usually from 5am onwards).

#Porpor who took a taxi over to babysit the little ones upon learning that I was in bed with food poisoning while The Husband had to finish up some urgent work.

# Having a trusty & genuinely caring family doctor in our lives so that we always know who to turn to when one / some of us is plagued with common or minor illnesses.

# The SIL dropping by with breads for a catching-up session but was really to show that she cares.

# The electric fan and air-conditioners that help to cool the rooms where the little ones could sleep comfortably in when weather is hot and humid.

# The loving nature in Anya who is never stingy with her kisses and affection for her baby sister even though she is still adjusting to the fact that Daddy and Mommy has to inevitably divert some of their attention away from her self to baby since the latter's arrival.

# The availability of full cream fresh milk and cheese, as well as yogurt products suitable for toddlers now that Anya decides that she has had enough of formula.

#Fellow mommies' encouragement and advices coming in when learned of my milk woes.

# Our Father's presence during frantic times where little ones' cries became inconsolable; His peace soothing them and us as well.

Wow. So there was a whole lot of wonderfulness happening this week too. We are indeed experiencing the joy of suffering. Praise God!

Six weeks old

 My little Arielle, 

My oh my! More than six weeks has passed since you were first laid in my arms! This week has been a super busy and tiring. What with Mommy's food poisoning episode, Daddy away for a 2-day retreat, Chinese New Year preparation and Auntie Mel falling sick. I really want to pen down your progress so despite eyelids drooping and all, here I am, doing a short note. 

Right from Day 1, you were a sleepy baby. As such, Mommy find that you could go through the sleep-eat-wake cycle very well. After every feed, if you are not due for baths nor is it nighttime, we usually change your diaper and lay you at your little recliner or playmat for 10-20 minutes. Without fail, once that 10 - 20 minutes was up (the length of time here depends on how long you took to finish your feed earlier on), you would start your I-wanna-go-to-bed cry. And once we put you in your playpen, you drift into slumber with ease. This is a stark contrast to your Jiejie who slept very little when she was your age. In fact, at one month old, she was already taking only two naps a day. A routine that she stuck to all the way till a few months ago when it was reduced to one nap per day. 

However, things start to change this week. 

Looking like a dude in your stylo hairstyle and hand-me-down onesie from T gorgor.

Generally, we noticed that you are more alert now. While you do look around at your surroundings when you are awake, now you respond quicker to movements. You are also able to track moving objects (so long as they are not too fast). 

When Mommy places you on the playmat, you take a keen interest in those sea animal dangling above you and will even thrush your little arms at them causing them to sway to and fro. 

When we talk to you at close range, your gaze falls onto our faces, your attention rapt. A few times, you even reciprocate by 'replying' in coos and 'ah's (this was another difference between you and Anya. Your Jiejie cooed right from day 1 so actually for weeks I was wondering how come you were so quiet). 

In addition, we find that we can stretch your wake-times longer as your I-wanna-go-to-bed cries has been coming later and later.

Wow, my little one, you are making so many progresses in one week! It looks like you are on a developmental growth spurt. 

It is really enjoyable, watching you hitting one milestone after another and figuring out how similar or different you are from your Jiejie. Looking forward to enjoy more of you and your Jiejie! 

Cuddles and Kisses,

Mommy & Daddy

Milk Woes

When I had Anya, one of the parting statements that my OBGYN had for me at my postnatal check was "Not everyone are meant to be cows.". Apparently, I was one of those cow-not-meant-to-bes. I stopped breastfeeding Anya when she was three and half months old because by then, I was producing enough for one miserable feed a day despite taking motilium and fenugreek.

Fast forward to Arielle... Well, the situation improved initially.

Right from day one, I was taking motilium (prescribed by OBGYN) and fenugreek, 2 pills 3 times a day. On top of that, I latched Arielle on every two hours in the day and every three hours in the night for the first two weeks. In addition, the jamu massage lady who came in for a week during my confinement helped me to clear the milk ducts, making me feel all bruised in the course of it. Oh, and also, I drank gallons of soup and other fluids (Organic milk booster tea too!). With all these, my milk production was established and somewhat stabilised.

At every 3 hours interval, I was producing a modest amount of 80mls when baby was drinking 110mls at the same intervals. While baby was only breastfed partially, I was happy as five to six feeds (out of seven) a day was breastmilk. With such results, I was ready to breastfeed all the way. In fact, I just called the OBGYN's clinic a few days ago to ask for a prescription for two months' supple of motilium.

BUT. On Sunday, I was struck down with food poisoning. A relative bad case with diarrhea, vomiting and gastric attacks. So I had to be on medication. The gastric was hurting me so much that I could not get out of bed (A bad joke that The Husband and I shared was that I was going to have another baby). This translated to irregular milk pumping sessions in the past few days and having to throw away those precious stuff.

Now that I am almost fully recovered and am expressing milk regularly, I find that my milk supply has dwindled. Right now, I am trying to latch on again, in the hope of getting my supply back. Sigh.. Feeling all stressy.

Live Commentary

Now that Anya can string together short simple sentences, we get a live telecast of what goes inside her little head every now and then. It is cute, really. Maybe I will eat back my words weeks down the road when I get sick of it or if her chattiness grows incessant as her speech improves. Right now, we are finding the idea very fresh and are simply adoring the little commentator's firing away.

Here's some example of what she will broadcast on a typical day.

"Baby drink milk."

"Shhh... Meimei sleeping."

"Anya hugs Arielle."

"Baby crying."

"Mommy's fruits. Mommy share fruits Anya." (meaning I shared with her my fruits)

"Mommy's phone."

"Daddy help, please?"

"Daddy no more?" *pauses to think then continues* "Daddy working."

"Anya go pompom."

"Ar-fin (Muffin) sleeping."

"Biscuits. Anya eats biscuits."

 Etc...

The cutest thing that she comments on?

"Anya crying."

For whatever reason that set her off into tears - be it a booboo, being disciplined or throwing a tantrum, she will burst into tears, then suddenly pause and announces, "Anya crying.", then carry on with her wailing. 

Often than not, because the situation does not allow it, we find ourselves pursing our lips and holding back the urge to laugh.

Besides being a little commentator, announcing all that she observes around the house, she seems to be getting a tad bossy.

Just earlier on when she was having lunch, she suddenly piped, "Baby crying.". The Helper and I pricked our ears and listened for sounds (if any) from my bedroom where Arielle was sleeping. Nothing. 

"Baby's not crying. She is sleeping." I replied. 

Apparently, she has extraordinary ears, either that or vivid imaginations because she insisted again, louder this time to assert her point, "Baby's crying.". Then she instructed, "Mommy, go check.", gesturing to the direction of my room. 

With that, I duly did what she instructed - lest she raises her voice further insistence and wake Arielle up. That would be a Anya-fulfilled prophecy.