Joash

Back in year 2008 - 2009 when we first started trying for a child, the Lord impressed upon me that we will have a son. Specifically, He impressed upon me the name, Joash, when we prayed for a child. Twice, He showed me, in two consecutive days. Then, we took quite a while trying to conceive. So, when God showed me the signs, I claimed it, believing we would have a child, a son, in matter of time. Therefore, when we were finally expecting in the 3rd quarter of 2009, I was convinced that it will be a boy.

Which was why I woke up in cold sweats one night early in my pregnancy then because I dreamt that I was in disbelief and denial after delivering a baby girl. I was confused. I recalled saying a prayer and telling the unborn child in my womb then that I do not reject it, no matter boy or girl. As it turned out, the gender scan at 16th& 20th week revealed that it was a baby girl. Therefore, the thought about Joash was pushed to the back of my mind. 

Fast forward to 2010. We started trying for our second child and was expecting very quickly. While I remembered the Lord promise to me, i was secretly hoping for a girl. Reason being: having Anya was such a joy to us and we could not imagine it otherwise if it was a boy. Illogical, i know, but i couldnot help feeling that way. and then, Arielle came along and i was overjoyed. 

Now, the Husband and I always wanted three children. However, after having suffered two hyperemesis gravidarum pregnancies, the Husband was convinced that it was enough hardships for me. He could not bear seeing me go through another round of sliding all the way down to the bottom pits and to some extent, I had to agree with him. It was very difficult, having to go through what I went through. In any case, we were partial to the idea of adoption and we thought if ever, years down the road, should we feel up to having a third one, we could always adopt. And that was the end of our child-bearing discussions. 

Until we found ourselves expecting earlier the year. Yep, in case you have not realized; it was a surprise. Given the circumstances, we felt so certain that this one will be Joash. I mean, we are really very sure (and will be very careful to ensure) that three is the final number. More importantly, we had peace about the gender this time round. No secretly wishing it was a girl, no guilt feeling, nothing. Just a peaceful, certain thought that this will be a boy. 

And so, with the 20th week scan done just earlier today. Ladies and gentlemen, may we announce that we are expecting a boy into our brood! :)

Mini feature of our new abode.

Have we moved in to our new place for coming to six months already? How time flies! I actually wanted to do this much earlier but then my interior designer decided to engage his photographer to take some photos of our place. Hence, I thought why not feature my place in the best light - through the eyes of a professional photographer?

So, I received the soft copies of the photographs a few weeks ago but just could not get myself to sit in front of my laptop, transfer the photos and do a proper entry. (The past entries were all typed up using our handy iPad.) Now, finally, I have energy, and am psyche to do this.

Here is a little background about our new place:
We bought a HDB Executive Maisonette in the same heartland of where we used to stay. The reason why we did not move out of the same heartland was because we did not think the in-laws (whom we used to stay in the same HDB block) could bear the distance. Why maisonette? We love the idea of duplex living but did not want to inject astronomical amount of funds and borrowings for our matrimonial home. Hence, landed and private properties were ruled out.

Between the Husband and I, we have already set our hearts on the design theme of our next home. Our first matrimonial home was pop retro style (well, at least for the living room and kitchen..) which was bright, colorful and cheerful. This time round, possibly has to do with mellowing with age, we decided that we are done with burst of colors. Instead, we wanted a black and white colonial theme with hints of greens, think our heritage black and white houses?

So, for this flat, we engaged our old interior designer again. We have worked with him on many occasions (most of them pleasant). Okay, I'll be forthright here. They were all pleasant until the Husband used him for one of his office's renovation a couple of years ago and he somehow became a totally different person. In the midst of the project, he was often un-contactable, to the point the Husband actually chided him for his lack of professionalism. This was a far cry from what we had established over the years. He was always patient, professional, hands-on, observant, and very easy to talk to. My only complaint about him in the past was he could be a little forgetful occasionally. Morever, his rates had always been very reasonable, and we have actually lost count of the number of contacts we referred to him along the way.

Anyway, when we were embarking on the road of searching for a new ID for our new place, the Husband suggested including him at giving us a quote. Reason being: I was going to be the one mainly in charge of the renovation work this time round and the Husband knew I had an enjoyable working relationship with him during our last house. However, we voiced our apprehension to him and our ID acknowledged our misgivings and promised us that during the course of giving us a quote, he would do his best in terms of his responsiveness, and hopefully, would win our trust again.

And boy he did. Of course, not to also mention the other quotes almost gave me heart attacks on the spot. I was glad we went back to him for many reasons. One: we could bury finally bury the hatchet. It is always good to gain back another friend right? Two: our dear ID outdone himself in terms of his service. I felt that he was as patient as ever, responsive, and may i also add, less forgetful than before. Three: As always, he gave me wonderful sound advice and suggestions along the way. One of which was to use black cement grouting instead of usual white ones for some of our kitchen and toilets tile works. Four: his team of workers have improved tremendously over the years. I will rate the tiling and carpentry works as 'okay' for our first house. This time round, they were superb! Especially the tile works which involved the workers cutting up some of the tiles into pretend subway tiles as I could not find suitable subway tiles.

Despite having a designer, I am really quite hands-on. I actually spent many nights drawing up pictures of cabinets (exact number of doors, exact compartments, where they should be, measurements etc), wardrobes and even layouts of the rooms. The ID was actually suitably impressed by some of my drawings. Okay, did I say I was hands-on? Maybe more like anal.. So you see, the ID was really more of a value-adding contractor but I am not complaining as his rates are comparable to most contractors.

Right, enough of my blah-blah-ing. I shall let the pictures do the talking. Though may I explain that there are only pictures of our lower floor. Given that the upper floor which consisted of three bedrooms that were the playing, reading, changing, storage and sleeping quarters for five of us (soon to be six), they are really cramped and not quite picture-worthy . The photographer did not bother to venture upstairs, neither will I with my camera.

Living room.

Actually we house our dining table next to the island but the photographer moved it away as it was not part of our ID's work.

The original kitchen was half of its current size. We knocked down the only room in the lower floor to make room for this open kitchen cum dining area.

Okay. Bad lighting. Toys all over. This was taken by me. This cabinet at the entrance house our footwear, jackets, bags and brollies.

Taken by me too. Guest washroom downstairs.

Hello, second trimester!

I am currently in my second trimester and am feeling the oh-so-goodness of it. It called for a celebration and, together with celebrating early Fathers' day, the Husband and I went for a long overdue dinner date two nights ago.

At 14 weeks, sickness has finally safely cleared off on most days although it is still with help from  Ondesetron & Primperan (anti-emetic drugs)  I gather I will slowly try easing myself off these drugs in the next 1-2 weeks. My energy is finally back although I still need my two hours of nap every time I down one Primperan but hey, who can complain about sleeping more? Just this morning, I managed to have a baking session with the little ones (a first for Arielle!) and we managed to churn out a batch of delish sticky chewy chocolate chips cookies! Not to mentioned also, we had a blast weighing out the ingredients, doing all the mixing and, for the girls, licking the batter..

Oh, the best news of all? This is by far one of my biggest pregnancy-related victory - I have cleared my first trimester without any hospitalization nor Zofran (anti-emetic drug) / cocktail drips! Woots! You see, my first two pregnancies saw me ending up for hospital stays at some point in the first trimester. No thanks to HG, I had constipation and hemorrhoids complications and had to down all those yucky stools softener, put on drips to get my fluid, salts back and to let those Zofran run right into my bloodstream to prevent further hurling. 

To me, admission to hospital for drips has become sort of a rite of ritual of pregnancy and you won't believe what a great sense of achievement I feel to come this far. This time round, there is a sense of empowerment that I never used to have. I was proactively doing things to help myself: I made appointment with my gynaecologist the moment we found that we were pregnant so as to get started on anti-emetic drugs before the real deal of sickness kicked in, the Husband and I prepped ourselves and the Helper mentally and physically that the moment should i feel any slightest nausea during this period, I will drop whatever I'm doing  (kids, housework, whatsoever) and lie down. Whoever around will take oer automatically. You see, the moment I start throwing up, chances are that for the rest of the day, it will happen again and again. So the best method is prevention. That way, we lower the risk of going through that horrible downward spiral. I also tried alternative treatment in the form of homeopathy. Unfortunately, that did not work out for me, but still, at least I tried. 

Between the Husband and I, we agreed that we ought to keep counting the little victories to keep our joy. And we give thanks for all the victories - big or small, no matter. And as we did so, I find myself in the light more and more often than being in the darkness. So one truth I got to experience for myself here: "Giving thanks unto the Father. .. who has delivered us from the power of darkness, and brought us into the kingdom of His dear Son." Colossians 1:12,13

 So, with things seemingly looking up for me, it seems like Anya's June holiday has finally really started.  And we have lined up some pretty neat programmes for the kiddos in the upcoming two weeks. Looking forward to them! 

And then, we are moving onto dessert...

We are expecting our third child. It is exactly ten weeks old today.

Hello there!

What has this got to do with the heading? You may ask. Well... When we were expecting Anya, we announced to everyone that we have a bun in my oven and christened her 'little bun'. Then when Arielle are along, we carried on with the whole bun-in-oven thingy and nicknamed her 'mini bun'.
With this one, we decided to go with 'dessert bun' because... Well... we wish and prefer that it shall be the last one that shall be served out of my oven. Yep. We imagine that anything more than three is beyond what we can manage, given the quality of life and care that we will like to have for our offsprings.

Third time around, this pregnancy is a remarkable improvement as compared to the first two - not because my body is responding better this time round, but rather, because we found some effective ways of managing hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) during the last pregnancy and we were quick to respond this time round instead of waiting till my body cries out in surrender. Some day, I might sit down and pen down in details about my experience with HG as I have noticed that information about excessive morning sickness are practically non-existent in Singapore. In fact, before the darling Duchess of Cambridge was found to be pregnant and with this condition, there was little that I could find online as well.

As for the girls, how are they responding to my growing belly? (Yes, there is already a unmistakeable bump!) Well, Arielle is still oblivious. She does not seem to register much of what we tell her so far. But hey, it's still early days! Meanwhile, we are starting to watch more and more Discovery Home and Health once again.

Anya, on the other hand, has been a sweet and sensitive big sister. These days, she is careful not to press against my belly when we cuddle or hug. Every now and then, she would stroke and kiss my belly, introducing herself to baby. And not a day goes by without her asking if it is Christmas tomorrow because we told her that baby will arrive before Christmas.

Oh, may I lament about one particular downside of having three pregnancies within a short span of four years: All those hormonal changes are doing drastic things to my hair! Close friends will know that I am especially vain when it comes to my hair. I dislike and hardly spend money on manicures, facials and massages but I do 'invest' considerably in my hair. I always have normal scalp, not oily, nor too dry. Since post-pregnancy first time round, my scalp has become oily. And it got worse with every new pregnancies. Up till the last three weeks, things got  messier. My scalp was at its most oily (think shiny scalp even right after a wash) while my ends are mostly dry and tangled. My conditioners can no longer do magic in smoothing out those frizz and tangles. Hence,  I decided that long hair should go.

So, to a particular old friend who saw my new look on social media and was asking why the radical change, now you know why.. ;)

Tough love

Before I became a mother, I had this one big fear.

I feared that if I do become one, I may not be up to the job. I feared that my parenting skills will suck, resulting in wayward children who will subsequently become dregs of the society. And then, when I fell pregnant with Anya, my hormones probably went into overdrive, turning my heart into marshmallow filled with fluffy melt-in-your mouth gooey love for my unborn child. Hence, my fear was all forgotten.

Actually, no. The fear was not forgotten. Rather, my confidence was boosted by the strength of God, the knowledge gained from church's parenting class, the teamwork from the Husband and the support as well as encouragement from loved ones, friends and church leaders. With that, my fear diminished significantly. Of course, babies being babies, being all so cuddly and endearing does not send one any signals of possibilities of being wayward much later in life, helped too.

But. All that fluffy soft love that has being floating around the Husband and I has taken some transformation since.

Anya is turning 3 next week. Cuddly helpless baby no longer describes her. Even Arielle, who is 16 months old now, does not come close to that description. In replacement, what I have now is a child (Anya, not Arielle) who is capable of her own speech, thoughts and behavior.

You know how some men always say that women are the most complex creature on earth? I beg to differ. I'd say children are the most complex ones. Well, at least for my own, I will say so: One day, she is that pure and simple bundle of joy whom i know like the back of my hand; in the blink of an eye, she turned into this complex being who demands her every right, question everything that I do and defy every boundary that I have set. She has her quiet wistful moments where I can't quite grasp what is on her mind. On the other end of the spectrum, she also has her loud boisterous moments where every threat that I mete out does nothing to quieten her down.

And when I find that the old tricks that I have learned from our parenting class (infant stage; we failed to find time to attend the toddler and beyond stages) no longer worked; that was when the fear started looming bigger again. This time round, the fear is sharpened with an aching knowing how deeply you love your child to not wanting her to turn out wayward.

In recent months, I have been asking around for advice on issues and topics relating to discipline. I have picked up a few books that have proven to be God-send help as their methods appeared to be in line with the Word and there have been little improvements (hurray!) since. That said, I am not letting down my guard! Children grow really fast, and as I have realized, so must my spiritual walk and my equipping as a parent.

With that, I have another little revelation: while the girls are sensing more tough love from Daddy and Mommy hereon; Daddy and Mommy are agonizing over how tough it is to love and raise children.

Now, back to the transformation of the fluffy love. So at this point, this love has taken on dual personalities. Some times, it is tough going, trying, requiring loads of self-control and treading with caution. Other times, it still is fluffy, cuddly, warm and fuzzy - all soft and heart-fluttering. Now, before some of you go saying, "That is why should not have children.", may I beg to differ.

Trying as it may be - being parents, I do not regret becoming one nor allow my fear swallow me whole because I am certain that only parenthood can allow one to experience many more different dimensions of love that one do not get to experience in other forms of relationship.

And so, tough love it is, and I am thankful for every bit of it.