Jacob Ballas Children's Garden

 On Saturday morning, we finally set foot on Jacob Ballas Children's Garden. I have talked about visiting this much-talked about attraction for months but since I fell pregnant for the second time, we seem to have become a sleepy lot, preferring to sleep in on weekend mornings.

We have invited The Helper to join us as she has seen pictures of us picnicking in The Botanical Garden and had told me that she wanted to visit the place when she gets her off day (The contract stated that she is not allowed on off days till after six months). However, I disclaimed beforehand that this is another different part of the botanical garden and may not be what she is hoping for.

The Husband and I were quite impressed with the garden. It is indeed a wonderful place for young children. The size of the garden is manageable for both parents (who have to lug strollers, bags and whatnots) as well as children. Yet, it is packed with educational values that stimulates the children's senses. We'd think that the features such as the suspension bridge and waterfall can be interesting and even exciting through the eyes of a 5-year-old, making the learning fun.

For Anya, however, it is apparent everything is new, strange and some, even possibly a tad scary to her. She was reluctant to explore most parts of the garden, preferring to sit in her stroller, hold onto one of our hands (sometimes even both of us) or wrap her arms tightly around one of The Husband's leg.

Sweetie, that's the eggplant that you and Daddy refused to eat at dinnertime.

"Hmm.. what is Daddy trying to point out to me?"

"Can you see it?"

The following are some of the experiences that she had there and what I imagined were her thought bubbles.

So many children within the same compound at the same time, screaming, running and laughing? "Hmmm...."

Touch the mimosa plant and the leaves clam up? *startled* "Are they going to clam my fingers too?!?"

Walk the suspension shaky suspension bridge? "No...! I like my grounds firm and unshakable."

At the playground, feel the sand under your feet? "Ewwww......"

Running around the waterplay so that huge sprouts of water come raining down onto me while other children scream, run and laugh around me? "Doubly scary!"

Okay, this tiny water sprout is more manageable for tiny me.

The Husband and I learned something new on this trip too. We learned that it is high time that we expose our toddler to more greenery and other new things. :P

Oh, it was also on this fateful day that Anya bruised her kneecaps twice in the same day. Once, in the morning during the walk. That evening, we took the In-laws out for dinner at Ga Hock Seafood Restaurant and the poor tod had fallen down again in the dark when The Husband took her on a walk around the vicinity.

Overheard from the toddler

Lately, Anya has started to string words together more. For example, "Bye, Daddy.", "Dessert, nice!". With this new capability, things has gotten more interesting in the house.

Just this afternoon, I left home for my check-ups when Anya was still having her nap. Later in the evening when I got back, The Helper narrated the conversation she had with Anya when she woke up.

Anya, still in her cot: "Mommy... Mommy.."
Helper: "Anya, Mommy go see doctor. Mommy not at home already. Can Auntie 'baobao' (carry)?"
Anya: "No! Mommy..? Mommy..."
Helper: "Anya, Mommy not home. Come, baby, Auntie baobao?"
Anya: "No auntie...! Mommy??"
(Suddenly, thunder overheard in the background.)
Anya, shrieking: "Thundeee!!"
Helper: "Yes Anya, thunder."
Anya: "Auntie, baobao please."

While the above conversation gave us a good round of laughter when The Helper shared it with The Husband and I, what I am going to share next evoked a totally different set of emotions in both of us.

Praise God! Last night, Anya successfully slept back in her cot again. However, given that she fell asleep with The Husband keeping vigilance right outside her room within her sight (as a form for compromise), we were almost certain that she would wake up in the middle of the night looking for us. At 3am, we heard her whining. After a minute or so, whining escalated to soft crying which was the signal for one of us to go over. The Husband went to her room, and kept her company for about 10 minutes or so. He came back again when she drifted back to sleep in her cot. Unfortunately, she woke up again at 5am. We lay in our bed listening as she whimpered on and off for a couple of minutes. Then there was absolute silence for a minute or so.

Just when we thought she has drifted back to sleep on her own. Here's what she said, in her clear but piteous voice, "Mommy.. no more. Daddy, no more..."

The Husband and I looked at each other, jaw dropped. We could almost hear each other's heart sinking. With that, she got to sleep in our bed for the rest of the morning.

I think we need to go seek the Wizard of Oz to replace our hearts with steel.

Trying time

I am all stressed up now. It has mainly to do with Anya's sleep woes. It seem like a wrong move to transit her to bed after all. 

Much as I wish to elaborate here, I am reluctant to do so. As I do not wish to dwell too much on the undesirable behavior of my own child lest I start branding her negatively.

At this point, I am at my wits' end. I have tried various methods I read on books, the internet etc and they are not working. I have also been seeking advice from fellow mommy friends who have successfully transit their children to bed. While methods that work for their children may not work for me, I find that talking to / whatsapp-ing them does help to ease my anxieties, knowing that someone else has somewhat gone through what I am going through.

It is during times like this that I always find myself striking myself in my head because I realised that I have not been turning to God as much as I should be. Today, I lost my head and raised my voice at Anya. Immediately I saw fear in her eyes. I picked her up, and apologised to her, cradling her while she threw her little arms tightly around me. Thank God she did not reject me. I was guilt-stricken. I knew that I had lost my cool when I should not. I was letting my stress and in turn, the devil, get onto me. And the result was hurting my own child. When we said grace at lunch later on, I asked for forgiveness from God and my child. Of course, my little girl probably did not understand the meaning of the prayer though she did seem more subdued than usual for saying grace.

So, humility takes many lessons to be learned. At least, in my case. Oftenly, I obsessed with the methodology of parenting my child and half the times, I let my instincts and logic take over to decide which way should be the best way. I forgot that our child really is a gift bestowed by our Father to me and The Husband and that He is the best person to seek in parenting our child. 

It is with a grateful heart that I end off this post. Because I have prayed when I am most desperate and despite the fact that I had not been seeking Him till now, I think He has spoken. Go north, He said. Peculiar answer. I checked using my iPhone's compass function and found that the north of Anya's room is where the cot is. Now, I pray that my faith will not falter, but will instead strengthen.

I am not sure how long more this trying time will last. I just pray that His strength and wisdom will carry us through.  

You are one of God's most wonderful gift to us.

Bath-time!

The Furkid was due for her weekly bath. Given that it is a public holiday and The Husband was at home, we brought both toddler and dog for a walk to the playground before washing the dog.

While walking back home, we were verbally prepping both dog and toddler about their impending baths. Back in the flat, The Husband asked, "Who should I bathe first?".

I replied. "Anya. So that she can go for her nap after that. Then you can take your time with Muff."

And so, we gave Anya her fruit juice then announced, "Anya, it's pompom time! (meaning bath time, in our kiddish dialect language)".

After a few prompts, Anya finished up her juice, passed the cup to The Helper then headed to the entrance of our bedroom's attached bathroom, waiting for one of us to undress her. Strange enough, The Furkid followed her to the bathroom.

Well, you might have guessed what's on The Furkid's mind. You are probably right. Yes, she thought it was her bath-time. Despite repeated dissuasion and coaxing from us that her bath will come after Anya's, The Furkid was at Anya's heels as The Husband led her into the shower cubicle.

With that, bath-time for both kiddos became the highlight event of the day in our little flat. :)

At 34 weeks

My 34-weeks old decorated belly

From a day-to-day basis, I find my energy level zipping to and fro extreme ends. 

For the first half of yesterday, I went about my daily affairs around the house with my eyelids drooping. I had gladly let the television take over my baby-sitting duties until the mommy guilt suddenly snapped me out of it. I had to brace myself, switch off the television, then ushered Anya back into her room where we spent the rest of the afternoon building blocks, reading books and playing pretend cooking. If Anya had known better, she would tell that Mommy was really a zombie with forced enthusiasm and cheerfulness. By 3-ish in the afternoon, I felt like I have exhausted every ounce of energy in my body and had to ask The Helper to take over while I exited into my bedroom. At 9pm, I was yawning excessively. Yet, when I lay down in bed, I do not necessarily nod off. 

Today, I wake up feeling motivated and all hyped to finish up some tasks. I made extra effort with our breakfasts (eggs sandwich for me and cinnamon breadsticks for Anya). After breakfast, we built blocks together, read books, talked (she identified her stickers while I affirmed her enthusiastically), sang and danced with Barney on TV. Then I cut her nails and bathed her. After she went down for her nap, I made a shopping list that I planned to accomplish later when she goes over to The In-laws, did up some paperworks that I have left piling on my desk and made some phonecalls. 

I'm blaming this phenomenon on those raging hormones.