Hello, second trimester!

I am currently in my second trimester and am feeling the oh-so-goodness of it. It called for a celebration and, together with celebrating early Fathers' day, the Husband and I went for a long overdue dinner date two nights ago.

At 14 weeks, sickness has finally safely cleared off on most days although it is still with help from  Ondesetron & Primperan (anti-emetic drugs)  I gather I will slowly try easing myself off these drugs in the next 1-2 weeks. My energy is finally back although I still need my two hours of nap every time I down one Primperan but hey, who can complain about sleeping more? Just this morning, I managed to have a baking session with the little ones (a first for Arielle!) and we managed to churn out a batch of delish sticky chewy chocolate chips cookies! Not to mentioned also, we had a blast weighing out the ingredients, doing all the mixing and, for the girls, licking the batter..

Oh, the best news of all? This is by far one of my biggest pregnancy-related victory - I have cleared my first trimester without any hospitalization nor Zofran (anti-emetic drug) / cocktail drips! Woots! You see, my first two pregnancies saw me ending up for hospital stays at some point in the first trimester. No thanks to HG, I had constipation and hemorrhoids complications and had to down all those yucky stools softener, put on drips to get my fluid, salts back and to let those Zofran run right into my bloodstream to prevent further hurling. 

To me, admission to hospital for drips has become sort of a rite of ritual of pregnancy and you won't believe what a great sense of achievement I feel to come this far. This time round, there is a sense of empowerment that I never used to have. I was proactively doing things to help myself: I made appointment with my gynaecologist the moment we found that we were pregnant so as to get started on anti-emetic drugs before the real deal of sickness kicked in, the Husband and I prepped ourselves and the Helper mentally and physically that the moment should i feel any slightest nausea during this period, I will drop whatever I'm doing  (kids, housework, whatsoever) and lie down. Whoever around will take oer automatically. You see, the moment I start throwing up, chances are that for the rest of the day, it will happen again and again. So the best method is prevention. That way, we lower the risk of going through that horrible downward spiral. I also tried alternative treatment in the form of homeopathy. Unfortunately, that did not work out for me, but still, at least I tried. 

Between the Husband and I, we agreed that we ought to keep counting the little victories to keep our joy. And we give thanks for all the victories - big or small, no matter. And as we did so, I find myself in the light more and more often than being in the darkness. So one truth I got to experience for myself here: "Giving thanks unto the Father. .. who has delivered us from the power of darkness, and brought us into the kingdom of His dear Son." Colossians 1:12,13

 So, with things seemingly looking up for me, it seems like Anya's June holiday has finally really started.  And we have lined up some pretty neat programmes for the kiddos in the upcoming two weeks. Looking forward to them! 

And then, we are moving onto dessert...

We are expecting our third child. It is exactly ten weeks old today.

Hello there!

What has this got to do with the heading? You may ask. Well... When we were expecting Anya, we announced to everyone that we have a bun in my oven and christened her 'little bun'. Then when Arielle are along, we carried on with the whole bun-in-oven thingy and nicknamed her 'mini bun'.
With this one, we decided to go with 'dessert bun' because... Well... we wish and prefer that it shall be the last one that shall be served out of my oven. Yep. We imagine that anything more than three is beyond what we can manage, given the quality of life and care that we will like to have for our offsprings.

Third time around, this pregnancy is a remarkable improvement as compared to the first two - not because my body is responding better this time round, but rather, because we found some effective ways of managing hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) during the last pregnancy and we were quick to respond this time round instead of waiting till my body cries out in surrender. Some day, I might sit down and pen down in details about my experience with HG as I have noticed that information about excessive morning sickness are practically non-existent in Singapore. In fact, before the darling Duchess of Cambridge was found to be pregnant and with this condition, there was little that I could find online as well.

As for the girls, how are they responding to my growing belly? (Yes, there is already a unmistakeable bump!) Well, Arielle is still oblivious. She does not seem to register much of what we tell her so far. But hey, it's still early days! Meanwhile, we are starting to watch more and more Discovery Home and Health once again.

Anya, on the other hand, has been a sweet and sensitive big sister. These days, she is careful not to press against my belly when we cuddle or hug. Every now and then, she would stroke and kiss my belly, introducing herself to baby. And not a day goes by without her asking if it is Christmas tomorrow because we told her that baby will arrive before Christmas.

Oh, may I lament about one particular downside of having three pregnancies within a short span of four years: All those hormonal changes are doing drastic things to my hair! Close friends will know that I am especially vain when it comes to my hair. I dislike and hardly spend money on manicures, facials and massages but I do 'invest' considerably in my hair. I always have normal scalp, not oily, nor too dry. Since post-pregnancy first time round, my scalp has become oily. And it got worse with every new pregnancies. Up till the last three weeks, things got  messier. My scalp was at its most oily (think shiny scalp even right after a wash) while my ends are mostly dry and tangled. My conditioners can no longer do magic in smoothing out those frizz and tangles. Hence,  I decided that long hair should go.

So, to a particular old friend who saw my new look on social media and was asking why the radical change, now you know why.. ;)

Tough love

Before I became a mother, I had this one big fear.

I feared that if I do become one, I may not be up to the job. I feared that my parenting skills will suck, resulting in wayward children who will subsequently become dregs of the society. And then, when I fell pregnant with Anya, my hormones probably went into overdrive, turning my heart into marshmallow filled with fluffy melt-in-your mouth gooey love for my unborn child. Hence, my fear was all forgotten.

Actually, no. The fear was not forgotten. Rather, my confidence was boosted by the strength of God, the knowledge gained from church's parenting class, the teamwork from the Husband and the support as well as encouragement from loved ones, friends and church leaders. With that, my fear diminished significantly. Of course, babies being babies, being all so cuddly and endearing does not send one any signals of possibilities of being wayward much later in life, helped too.

But. All that fluffy soft love that has being floating around the Husband and I has taken some transformation since.

Anya is turning 3 next week. Cuddly helpless baby no longer describes her. Even Arielle, who is 16 months old now, does not come close to that description. In replacement, what I have now is a child (Anya, not Arielle) who is capable of her own speech, thoughts and behavior.

You know how some men always say that women are the most complex creature on earth? I beg to differ. I'd say children are the most complex ones. Well, at least for my own, I will say so: One day, she is that pure and simple bundle of joy whom i know like the back of my hand; in the blink of an eye, she turned into this complex being who demands her every right, question everything that I do and defy every boundary that I have set. She has her quiet wistful moments where I can't quite grasp what is on her mind. On the other end of the spectrum, she also has her loud boisterous moments where every threat that I mete out does nothing to quieten her down.

And when I find that the old tricks that I have learned from our parenting class (infant stage; we failed to find time to attend the toddler and beyond stages) no longer worked; that was when the fear started looming bigger again. This time round, the fear is sharpened with an aching knowing how deeply you love your child to not wanting her to turn out wayward.

In recent months, I have been asking around for advice on issues and topics relating to discipline. I have picked up a few books that have proven to be God-send help as their methods appeared to be in line with the Word and there have been little improvements (hurray!) since. That said, I am not letting down my guard! Children grow really fast, and as I have realized, so must my spiritual walk and my equipping as a parent.

With that, I have another little revelation: while the girls are sensing more tough love from Daddy and Mommy hereon; Daddy and Mommy are agonizing over how tough it is to love and raise children.

Now, back to the transformation of the fluffy love. So at this point, this love has taken on dual personalities. Some times, it is tough going, trying, requiring loads of self-control and treading with caution. Other times, it still is fluffy, cuddly, warm and fuzzy - all soft and heart-fluttering. Now, before some of you go saying, "That is why should not have children.", may I beg to differ.

Trying as it may be - being parents, I do not regret becoming one nor allow my fear swallow me whole because I am certain that only parenthood can allow one to experience many more different dimensions of love that one do not get to experience in other forms of relationship.

And so, tough love it is, and I am thankful for every bit of it.

My conversational little woman

I love the surprises and amusements that I get on a daily basis just by holding conversations with Anya. Very often, I find myself marveling at what goes through her little head from the stuff she expresses to us verbally.

Here is an anecdote of an exchange between Anya and I at the zoo a couple of weeks ago. Was explaining to her the differences in the appearance between a lion and a lioness.

Me: Look! There are two lions in there and the one over there with big hair is the boy lion whereas this one here is the girl. The boy is called a lion and the girl is called, lioness.

Anya, having used to see both adults and their young in most of the other enclosures, she asked:
Oh.. Where is the baby?

Me (after a quick scan around the entire enclosure and spot no other cats): You know what? Maybe there two lions do not have babies of their own yet. I do not see any baby lions here.

Anya: Oh! (Then adopting a know-it-all tone) I know.. Because they are not married yet right? When they are married, then they can have babies right? (Nods her head emphatically at the same time to draw affirmation from me.)

That immediately drew a chuckle from me. Interesting, isn't it? - how a statement from a child can depict both their childlike-ness as well as theirs gaining worldly knowledge.

My soft cuddly hugging baby

Gonna do some gushing here by dedicating the upcoming entries on the things I love about the girls at present. You see, i am hoping that it will ease off my guilt in the lack of entries in this cyber warehouse of parenting memories. I shall start off with the baby of the family.

I love that Arielle always hugs her plush rabbits to sleep. And it amazes me that she always gets them correctly upright with the rabbits' heads facing her rather than rabbity butts sticking into her face.

Lately, her sleeping pattern seems to stabilized. It occur to me that the rabbits might have some credit to take in helping her to sleep better. I suppose all that cuddling helps her to be more relaxed and comforts her whenever she rouses from her sleep in the middle of the night.


Other than plush rabbits, this little girl has also been doling out free hugs to her mommy here by the truckload. Well, more like she asks for cuddles and hugs rather than giving to me, but hey, I'm not complaining! Especially when she is so soft and chubby at this moment. Oh so huggable.

Yep, am loving every moment of those long cuddles where her fat little arms wind themselves tightly around my neck while she rests her head contentedly on my shoulder.