The "No" stage

Yes, Anya has arrived at the "no" stage.It appears to suddenly dawn on her that routines are meant to be disrupted, rules broken and boundaries tested.

"Bath after drinking juice?" - No.
"Bring your cup to auntie to wash." - No.
"Say grace." - No.
"Keep your megabloks." - No.
"Time's up for using iPad." - NO!

Mind you, I noticed that the recent "Nos" have been perfected with a growling tone to it,as she looks straight into my eyes with a taunting glint shining from hers. Bah..! Where did she learn all these?

Coupled with this particular favorite word of the moment, she has further upped her boundaries-testing skills by requesting for all the things that she likes repeatedly. For example, she always knew that vitamin gummy is given only before bedtime at night and would only ask for it after she is changed into her pajamas. These days, she would start asking for it even before she has changed out of her pajamas to start the day.

It is as if our lovely angelic toddler has skipped her childhood and accelerated straight to the rebellious teenage stage overnight.

In response, The Husband and I have gone through rounds of strategising and brainstorming. Now, we are fully geared for battle with armour and what-nots. Keywords and key phrases of our battle plan are such as 'be firm', 'consistency', 'be firm', 'keep temper in check', 'be firm', 'try not to tear out what little hair that we already have', 'be firm', 'next better player please'.

Just an hour ago, I was out in the battlefield getting her to bring her cup to The Helper after she finished her juice and then go for her bath. Unfortunately, The Husband is away at work, so the backup plan of 'next better player please' was not an option for me. So, I had to suck it in, BE FIRM and repeatedly ask her to do what is expected, rationalising to her why good behaviour is needed along the way.

At some point, when I sensed that she was not going to budge from her couch, I told her that I would have to yank her out of her seat. Sure, I did. Together with the cup. By then, The Helper had disappeared into the kitchen, very harassed by all the crying. Had not being the fact that she (The Helper) had a role to play here of collecting the cup, I am pretty certain she would gladly disappear into the safety haven in the form of a dark and stuffy storeroom and shut the door behind her.

This time round, I even exerted self-control by holding back as she sobbed piteously and ran towards me, begging for hugs. Instead, I held her hand, led her back to the cup, and tell her "No. You got to bring the cup to auntie and go 'pompom'".  After a couple of times of her begging me to hug her and me leading her back to the cup again, she finally relented and did what was told. Then, I reiterated to her the importance of good behavior and obeying parents, then finally hugged her while praising her for the good job.

Phew..! Yes, Ms. Tan (my dear secondary form teacher), you were right about having to be cruel in order to be kind. This is going to be my new parenting motto.

On a lighter note, here's some random terrible iPhone quality pictures, some of which showing what Anya-zilla does best - destroying our building block works. In our defence, we have purchase another set of megabloks and built an enclosure around her to ground her.

'yum seng-ing' at a wedding banquet

Only Eeyore, Muff & Daddy are allowed access into Anyazilla's enclosure.

Can I go to the bathroom, please?

Right from the start, The Husband and I believed in saying our goodbyes and pre-empting Anya before we go off to anywhere without her.

We think that by doing so can aid in raising a secured child. Disappearing acts may result in suspicion leaving the child wondering when we will appear again when we are away. There may well be repercussions where she will be even more 'sticky' when we appear once again. On the other, long and gushy goodbyes may over-dramatize the departure causing the child to be over-sentimental. So, we thought this is a good balance where she is trained to take departures well, knowing that secured love goes beyond constant physical attachment. 

When she was two months old, I started leaving her at The In-laws once or twice a week. Even then, where she was still a sleepy dazed teeny baby, I have began my goodbye routines. No disappearing acts. Nor drama-rama farewells. Just a simple kiss and hug, then I tell her roughly what time Daddy and Mommy will be back for her. Even up till today, we still maintain the same routine, except that it is more elaborate now that we need her to reciprocate and acknowledge our departure. 

Sure, there were a few rare occasions where it did not go so well. Still, nothing that a few more hugs and words of reassurances can't solve. After some tears and fussing, she eventually relented, giving us her flying kisses and waving her goodbyes.

These days, informing her of our departures has extended to even short toilet breaks and bath-times. Sometimes, she does not take it well, especially when there is only The Helper and I around - which means that she will be left alone with The Helper when Mommy's in the bathroom. Again, she usually gives her nod of approval after one or two more tries.

We think we will carry on this parental belief onto No. 2 - even if it makes us feel like primary school children asking for permission to go to the toilet all over again.

Making a bookworm out of our offspring.

 Being books lovers ourselves (though we have very different preference in genre!), The Husband and I wish to see our offspring enjoying reading. And the best way to do it, we think, is to begin from young and make it fun! 

Back in the days when I was preggy with Anya, we would read her bedtime stories before we go to bed.  I remember being amazed that she always become especially active, kicking around, during story time. These days, besides having some books available for her own browsing in the day, we continue the bedtime stories tradition - we try to do character's voice/accent these days.

As all parents will know, board books can be very costly! So, my strategy to cut cost and yet have a variety is this:

1. Look out for cheap buys. We have bought some really good and cheap books at the most unlikely places such as Fairprice Finest. 
2. I only splurge on titles that are Anya's favourites (e.g. Veggietales and those that has sounds). 
3. When I do splurge, I try to purchase online where there are usually substantial savings. Christianbooks.com is one of my favourite. 
4. For added variety, we go to the community library. Here, I borrow titles that coincide with her development (e.g. Pony brush his teeth, Happy birthday Little Pookie), knowing that it does not make economical sense to purchase such titles, and other titles that helps to widen her exposure. 

The pirates who don't do anything!

We can see that it is beginning to pay off as Anya will point at a particular board-book and sign "please". At the end of the story, she would hug the book greedily (like what she does with her favourite stuffed toys) to indicate that she wants the book to go into the cot with her. 

Yes, I think we have a budding bookworm. :)

Recovering Caterpillar, prayerfully.

Just when we thought her fever came and went in less than a day. Boy, we were so wrong! Heh. Afterall, we are 1st-time parents handling a baby who was flu-bugged for the 1st time. So, here's what happened for the past few days:

Sunday
She had fever & nose block. Saw the GP who confirmed that she was down with a flu. Gave her medication after which her fever subsided.
Mood: Slightly sluggish & mildly irritable.
Appetite: Good! Finished everything as usual

Monday
Another night of restless sleep. Fever came back again at 5.00am. Subsided by late morning. Nose block on / off. Left ear seemed to hurt badly at touch. Not napping much.
Mood: Very irritable. Cried at every little thing. Screamed & howled - scared the crap out of her mommy.
Appetite: Satisfactory. Surprisingly, did not finish her milk during some of the feeds.

Tuesday
Thankfully, sleep was good! She slept through the night. Found some heat rashes on her arms, torso & head after she woke up though. No more fever hereon. Seems to be breathing better through her nose though still stuffy. Left ear is still painful to touch though reaction not as adverse as the day before. Two good naps. Received news that little Ashley who had a playdate with Anya on Saturday (Anya did not show any signs of having flu yet except for the heaving sound which again, due to my inexperience, did not recognize that as a stuffy nose) has come down with a temperature. :(
Mood: Back to her usual cheerful self
Appetite: Slightly off the mark ,Good during lunch & dinner where mashed carrots were served. Milk unfinished at some feed.


Wednesday
The no-direct-fan-nor-A/C policy when she sleeps had evidently taken a toll on her skin resulting in a bout of eczema attack. Plagued with itchiness on her neck, scalp & face, she simple couldn't sleep. After trying out various methods (mild atopic cream, fan etc), we gave in by moving her into our room & turned on the A/C at 430am. With that, she finally went back to sleep. Woke up with extremely blocked nose. Took one good nap.
Mood: Her usual cheerful self
Appetite: Poor! Milk unfinished. Rice cereals were rejected after a few small mouthfuls at every meal. Introduced mashed spinach at lunch, was rejected after 2 mouthfuls, even the dog rejected it when I poured the remaining stuff into her food bowl. (-_____-)

Thursday (today)
Took extra precaution by ensuring that she was well-ventilated the whole of yesterday. Gave her a bath & shampoo before her last feed to ensure her skin is nice & cool. Slept in our room so that we did not have to keep walking back & forth to check on her. Threatening to wake up at 130am. She was perspiring & starting to itch. No choice but to have the fan blowing directly at her. Thankfully she could sleep till morning after that. Nose block seems to be not as bad as the day before. Seems to have no more pain in her left ear too.
Mood: Cheerful
Appetite: Good so far. She finish all the algae, i mean, mashed spinach at lunch!

So, did we learn anything from this episode? Loads! For example, we learned that fever usually peak in the middle of the night. The reason why we need to sponge infants when they have fever is to cool down their core temperature so as to prevent fits. Our caterpillar, she is one little trooper. Despite all the discomfort that she had to endure, she was very much the happy baby she has always been - all except for one day. Even when the eczema kept her up for most part of the night, she hardly whine nor cried

Unfortunately, babies at five months old are incapable of producing their own antibodies. Prior to that, they have passive antibodies that came from their mothers which would have gradually diminish which their own immune system gradually build up. Of course, if the baby is being breastfed, they will still receive antibodies from her mother's milk. In our case, well, let's just quote from my OBGYN and say "Not all mummies are made to be cows", which may not be a bad thing for Anya since I have been plagued by sinus on/off after giving birth to her meaning it would compromised the quality of those antibodies anyway.

Having said so much, my point is to take precaution while she is still building up her immune system. My idea is not to turn into this cleanliness freak who is going to chain my children in a germ-free & sterile environment. No, that will be going the extreme. Instead, we will simply observe basic hygiene, minimize her contact with people who are down with flu / cough  etc, giving her a healthy & balanced diet. For they are still so little and are more susceptible to risks of complications when down with common ailments. What's more, our experience in the last few days tell us that a mere flu can bring us (both parents & baby) so much sleep deprivation, heartaches (that's for the parents only) and stress (Other than sleep, quick meals, quick toilet breaks & even quicker showers, I nearly devote the rest of my time to caring for her). Not to mention the thick layer of dust that has settled nicely over the entire flooring of our flat.

She loves her mashed carrots.

A jumble of thoughts

Presently, a whirlwind of thoughts are running through my head - a result of reading up Gary Ezzo's Babyhood Transition. This is part of my preparation for starting Anya on solids & what behavorial training that may come with this new phase.

Information overload? No. Not really. I am digesting the information, sorting them out, deciding what suggestions from the book to adopt and summoning the courage to face what is to come. Heh. "Summoning courage" may seem too strong a phrase to use here, but I reckon it is true to a certain degree, given my experience for the past 5 months. Courage is needed to be confident, and Anya needs us (her Mom & Dad) to be confident in order to feel assured & secured.

As a first-time parent, I prefer to know in advance what to expect (though parents out there will agree wtih me that no matter how prepared they can be, their child(ren) can still surprise them along the way!), prepare my heart by praying for wisdom & guidance, and to come up with a plan as to how to deal with what is to come.

Having a plan is of significant importance, i feel, as I have learned from various sources that children, even babies & toddlers, need consistency! Plus, it is always easier (for both parents & the child) to train than to retrain! And how else to achieve consistency & to avoid minimize retraining if there is no plan in place right from the start?

Anyway, just wanna get this off my chest as the process of digesting all the information & devising a plan can get quite heavy-hearted.

All in the name of homecooked food

I always enjoyed cooking. To me, pottering around the kitchen is therapeutic and serving up loved ones' favorite (& hopefully delicious) dishes at the table is part of my love language.

Unfortunately, when i afflicted with hyperemesis gravidarum when I was expecting Anya. Cooking became an impossible task since smells of food is one of the triggers for my vomiting. Instead, we would pop over to the in-laws' place for meals, eat out or The Husband would 'da-bao' back.

After delivering Anya, taking on the new role of being a mother and its responsibilities naturally became the top priority while cooking remain to be in the backseat. Even after getting the hang of the routine of feed-wake-sleep cycle, i realized that making dinner was not going to happen any time soon as there really isn't much time left when life has been divided into 3-hour cycles with ironing, laundry & cleaning to be slotted in between her sleep times. But it has to happen soon! - because I plan to teach Anya the values of eating together & table manners once she starts solids when she turns six months. And I need to be able to have food on the table that we adults can eat in order to do that right?

Therefore, in the past 1-2 months, efficiency became my new focus. Like an athlete who is obsessed with finetuning the speed of his 100m sprint, i devoted my mind & my body at completing the task at hand quickly (without compromising much on the quality lah :P). Ironing each piece of shirt is akin to running a race in which i strive to better my timing. Likewise for other chores. These days, I take 5 minutes to iron each of The Husband's shirt (it was 15 minutes in the past!) , and with the help of a new appliance - a mere 15 minutes to vacuum the floor!

So last night, we had the luxury of having home-cooked dinner for the first time in months! Nothing fanciful, but definitely a milestone for not baby, but mommy me! :)

For the adults

For the furkid

Roomies no more!

Last night, we shifted Anya back to her bedroom. Reason being: I noticed that she is starting to observe (thus perhaps will recognize) her surroundings. It will be easier to start her on sleeping in her own room alone before she can recognize her surroundings. This is part of our parenting belief in teaching her about independence.

In preparation for that, the baby monitor was set up & the weekend was spent cleaning up her room. I also took the opportunity to clear wardrobe of her receiving blankets, tiny newborn outfits that she can no longer fit into. Together with the breast pumps (the milk factory has officially ceased production), they were all packed into a cardboard box and put away in the storeroom.

So for the first time last night, she slept all by herself in her own bedroom. While she woke up a couple of times throughout the night, i didn't think it is a problem. Somehow, it appears to me more of a one-time-off incident. In fact, as I'm typing this now, she is napping soundly in her own room. So yep, she should do just fine in there.

I, on the other hand, seem to be having slight separation anxiety. After the Husband put her in her cot, I had walked out of her room with reluctant footsteps. Back in our own bedroom, i kept staring at the empty space that her cot used to occupy. Throughout the whole night, I had trouble sleeping; kept imagining that i heard her stirring / crying via the baby monitor. And when she was really crying, i jumped out of my bed and sprinted to her room. Guess I AM the one who needs some adapting to. Sigh! I miss my little roomy!